WHO ARE YOU?

When someone would ask me " Who are you?" I would respond with grief,fear, and tears, " I don't know?" Now when someone ask " Who are you?" I respond with a smile, " I don't know?" but I'm learning more about that question every day.

The Tree of Christmas

During this current time of what seems to be the Holy Wars movement to the western world most Christmas celebrators assume that, the most loved of all Christian holidays always has been just that: a Christian holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus. But Jesus was probably not born on December 25th. In fact, no one knows when Jesus was born.  Based on the information found in the bible, Jesus was likely born sometime in the fall. Christmas was not even celebrated until about a thousand years ago. The word for Christmas in late Old English is Cristes Maesse, the Mass of Christ, first found in 1038.

Perhaps Jesus was not born on December 25th, but back before the rise of the Christian religion, a bunch of other pagan gods’ births were celebrated around this date. The reason is that the winter solstice occurs a few days before, on the 21st. The winter solstice is the shortest day of the year, so to celebrate the ‘birth’ of a new year where days finally started getting longer again, it only makes sense that multiple gods were ‘born’ around this time. The following are just a small sample of other pagan gods which were celebrated around the solstice: Mithras, Horus, Attis, Dionysus, Tammuz, Hercules, Perseus, Helios, Jupiter and Apollo.

The first of these eventually became the subject of legend in which a supernatural figure would visit an evergreen tree and leave gifts on December 25^th but the decor of the tree (pole, balls, tinsel) represented male fertility (phallus, testes, semen). His name was Nimrod, and his legend was celebrated long before Jesus ever walked the Earth.

Also Osiris (Au-Sar) died on the solstice, according to legend. With the assistance of Nepthys (Nebt-Het), his wife Isis (Au Set) created a Djed Pillar (artificial penis) and impregnated herself. For the three days following, the children gestated in Isis’ belly, and on December 25th, she gave birth to twins Merul and Bast, who were the reincarnation and resurrection of their father.

The green tree is the symbol of Osiris, who is the green-skinned god of vegetation and fertility. Colored lights represent Isis, goddess of magic and divine light. Green and red are the traditional candle colors of Bast and Merul.

By the time the Romans legalized the observance of Christianity sometime in the 4th century. Most of the myriad religions in the empire already celebrated the birth of their gods on December 25th. Leading up to this day was the ancient Roman festival of Saturnalia, the annual commemoration of the temple of Saturn. Saturnalia lasted for a week, from December 17th to the 23rd. This holiday was characterized by feasting, singing, gift-giving and of course, general debauchery for which the Romans were infamous. Priests of Saturn would sport evergreen wreaths (Saturnalia circled wreaths represented female fertility) as they proceeded through the pagan temples.

Later this and other holidays traditionally celebrated around this time were consolidated into one on December 25th. Then in 350 AD, Pope Julius I declared the birth of Jesus to be this day as well. This made conversion to Catholicism an easier process for pagans. When the Roman Catholic Church finally decided to make the 25th of December a Christian holiday, they were simply adopting a long standing holiday celebrated in many pagan traditions, and even kept many of the symbols of pagan celebration. This is something that the Puritans understood. Most Americans would be surprised to learn that this religious group banned Christmas trees because they realized the pagan roots of this symbol.

For this reason, lesser-studied aspects of the bible contain warnings against such symbols. For example, in Jeremiah 10: 1-4, God warns:

Hear what the LORD says to you, O house of Israel. This is what the LORD says: “Do not learn the ways of the nations or be terrified by signs in the sky, though the nations are terrified by them. For the customs of the peoples are worthless; they cut a tree out of the forest, and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel. They adorn it with silver and gold; they fasten it with hammer and nails so it will not totter.”

Just Learning

Please bear with me Father as I am just learning to pray out loud

I figured this was the best way to say a prayer to a crowd

I have always prayed silent like others much too proud

Too proud to praise in the name of Jesus out loud

Please bring us back home Father

Instill in us the word which is our backbone

Because in this time of spiritual warfare

We're comfortable in the middle

Others on their own

For 35 years I was lost

Did not realize depression I was running in the dark

You showed me the light rising behind the cross

As you took my life away I screamed and I cried but

I understand you were showing me why

Carrying me to the way

Now I thank you Lord for my life today

And I will pray for tomorrow

Through the bad times as well as the good

Help me be heard and understood

I ask you to judge us all by our hearts

And not by our mistakes

See that we get a breakthrough

However long it takes

You teach us to Honor our Father and Mother

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

You teach women to respect their men

And men to love their women

But so many of us have gone astray

Doing wrong for so long that we've forgotten the way

I know I do not always do the right thing and I ask you to forgive me

Help us see that violence is not the remedy

And as you want us to do pray for our enemies

So I pray that you open our eyes

Give us the anointment to recognize

The Devil and his lies

I pray that you allow our spirits to be born

Grow strong, move on know right from wrong

Continue to praise, pray, show full faith for faith replaces fear

And when there is bad weather, we know your love is here forever

Because there is something better after here and not everyone will go

So I ask you to forgive them, just like me and hope they will see

For me as long as I can, as long as you permit me

Please give me the strength I need to be

Continue to bear with me and thank you for letting me see

The love you have for me

AMEN

The Journey

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, to have the life that is waiting for us for it’s the choices we are given that allow us to sit with God and design ourselves. There is no goodbye’s but only until we see each other again pray peace be with us all, Amen.

Why I love Sports

Being back to the future day got me thinking we need to get back to our future. It also made me realize why I love sports. Sports are the one thing that can bring us together as human beings despite our race, religion, beliefs, no matter what country we are from or heritage it may be. It’s almost a peaceful war without violence. It shows all character of man. Imagine Jessie Owens

The courage and joy to be an American it took to stand in Nazi Germany after dominating with 4 Gold medals.

The 68 Olympics brought race together during a time almost like we are experiencing now. Many people look at the picture of Tommie Smith and John Carlos making a racial statement. What they are unaware of is the only reason Peter Norman does not have his hand raised is they did not have another glove. They all are wearing the OPHR badge and the three would be life long friends.Tommie and John were even pallbearer's at Peter’s funereal

Competition can take two hated rivals and make them come together and learn respect for one another as a teammate, competitor, and a friend.

Sometimes the level of competition can be so high that it takes away the joy from the game when there is failure.

I believe now days that is a lot of our problem. We look at life as a competition and when we see someone with more “material” things we often think we are failing. When in reality they maybe the one’s who are truly failing. Right now as Americans we are failing, we have let race issues come back into our lives and country. We have forgot how to say no because we are afraid we will offend. We need to get back to what made this country great and it’s not about race, religon, or politics. It’s about doing right from wrong, treating everyone the way we wish to be treated, helping a friend,neighbor, or stranger when they are in need. We are suppose to be an example to the rest of the world as to how we are suppose to live. It is time to get back to that. It’s what we have always strive for. Let's take this country back to what our future is supposed to be. There is nothing wrong with individualism but in the end you need more team players to win. Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

ONE

How It All Relates

I will start off with the most significant to our Earth and physical reality. This year is Anno Lucis a dating system used by the Freemason ceremony or commemoration Known as the Anno Lucis (Year of Light) on the Gregorian Calendar which interesting enough CERN is celebrating the International year of Light. CERN, European Organization for Nuclear Research is located in Switzerland started back in 1954 on the Feast of Trumpets by 12 countries on the Feast of Trumpets.  If you’ve never heard of the organization known as CERN, chances are, you are not alone. CERN was established in 1954 by 12 nations (now represented by 22) and has a sprawling complex located on the border of France and Switzerland.

CERN is largely credited for birthing the World Wide Web and is also involved in highly advanced scientific experiments, one of which includes the Large Hadron Collider (LHC).

Three hundred miles beneath the surface of and circling them, until giant magnets literally one hundred thousand times stronger than the electromagnetic of our Earth, smashes them together. Why are they doing this? They were trying to find the “God particle” a particle that could hint at what happened at the beginning of time, space continuum.  

Not only that but they want to know what dark matter is but what is dark matter? So there is matter – everything you can see, anti-matter – everything we cannot see but is detectable and then there is dark matter – the material that makes up black holes.  

Also taking place is The United Nations General Assembly (UNGA). Speaking at the opening of the anniversary working session on Tuesday, President of the General Assembly, the Danish Mogens Lykketoft, urged the world body to deliver on objectives outlined in the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development. The Pope is also scheduled to deliver an address which will kick off the conference which is designed to shape the direction the world takes across the century. The 2030 Agenda is truly a template for governing the entire planet. In addition to addressing climate change, it also sets ambitious goals for areas such as economics, health, energy, education, agriculture, gender equality and a whole host of other issues.

The United Nations General Assembly (UNGA) speech marathon will see more than 160 leaders in attendance at the 70th anniversary. Speaking on September 28th will be

Vladimir Putin - Russian President / Raul Castro - Cuban President / Xi Jinping- China's President / Hassan Rouhani- Iranian President / Barack Obama - U.S. President

The 28th? What else is taking place that date?  This is the date when the Feast of Tabernacles begins. It is also the date for the last of the four blood moons that fall on biblical festival dates during 2014 and 2015. This blood moon falls on the very first day of the Feast of Tabernacles, it will be a "supermoon," and it will be clearly visible from the city of Jerusalem. There are many that dismiss the blood moon phenomenon, but we have seen similar patterns before. For example, a similar pattern of eclipses happened just before and just after the destruction of the Jewish temple by the Romans in A.D. 70.

Also in the same week :

Islam’s Wagf Al Arafa- The Day Islamic Religon was perfected  & Eid Al Adha – The day of sacrifice. These also are Lunar Holidays also which would link to The Super Blood Moon.

Sept. 20 to Sept. 26: The "World Week for Peace in Palestine Israel" sponsored by the World Council of Churches.

Sept. 21: The U.N. International Day Of Peace. Could this be the day when the U.N. Security Council resolution establishing a Palestinian state is actually adopted?

 It has been widely reported that France plans to introduce a resolution that will give formal U.N. Security Council recognition to a Palestinian state shortly after the new session begins. Up until now, the U.S. has always been the one blocking such a resolution, but Barack Obama has already indicated that things may be different this time around.

Now back to Cern. It is known that the LHC operates during lunar eclipse meaning it would have to take place on The Super Blood Moon on the 28th. While most assume CERN’s activities are strictly scientific in nature, there is overwhelming evidence that the organization and its LHC are integrating the spiritual realm and the occult into their research.

As an example, CERN’s logo has a very unsubtle reference to the number “666,” which any professional graphic designer or logo developer will tell you this is not accidental:

Secondly, located outside of the CERN headquarters in Geneva, Switzerland is a statue of Nataraja and a depiction of Shiva, the Hindu god of destruction:

 A large portion of CERN’s complex on the Franco-Swiss border covers the territory of Saint-Genis-Pouilly. In Roman times, this area was known as Apolliacum, which contained a temple that was dedicated to Apollyon!

What makes this organization’s “mascot” so unique is the fact that in the Bible, a demonic entity known as Apollyon (Abaddon) is a “destroyer” who will emerge out of a bottomless pit during end times events:

Revelations (9:1-2, 11), which makes reference to the name ‘Apollyon.’ The verse states: “To him was given the key of the bottomless pit. And he opened the bottomless pit… And they had a kind over them, which is the angel of the bottomless pit, whose name in the Hebrew tongue is Abaddon, but in the Greek tongue hath his name Apollyon.”

Now the bizarre CERN trailer for “Symmetry,” a dance-opera film where a CERN scientist is sent to another dimension while working on the LHC. In the video between the 21-and 25-second marks, you will see CERN workers performing a gyrating dance ritual, emulating the “destruction dance” of Shiva:

9/20/2015-9/26/2015( The "World Week for Peace in Palestine Israel" sponsored by the World Council of Churches)

9/21/2015  (International Day of Peace)

9/21/2015 (Islam’s Wagf Al Arafa- The Day Islamic Religon was perfected)

9/23/2015 (Yom Kipper, Day of Atonement/Day of Judgement) Jewish calendar

9/23/2015 (also many biblical scholars believe this is the start of the final 7 years in the book of Daniel also known as the end of 49. The prophecies of Daniel would have started around 1665 which looking back on that date is an interesting time in history. 3 things that stand out to me are this 1.The first scientific journal is published 2.The first record of someone to have died from the plague 3. The two books published/or wrote that year..."The End of the World" and "The Resurrection of the Dead and the Eternal Judgement and the Holy City or the New Jerusalem" which were wrote by the preacher John Bunyan while being inprisoned for the religion he spoke of. )

9/23/2015 ( The 266th Pope to visit White House for the first time ever, on 266th day of year)

9/24/2015 (conspiracy asteroid to come within 2.5 miles of Earth)

9/24/2015 (Islam's Eid Al Adha- Day of Sacrifice)

9/25/2015 ( Yom Kipper, Day of Atonement/Day of Judgement) Torah calendar

9/25/2015 ( on 5/14/2014 French Minister along side John Kerry announce claim to climate chaos to start in 500 days.)

9/25/2015 (The Pope to address the UN council on propaganda 2030)

9/28/2015 (Sukkot/Feast of Tabernacles)

9/28/2015 (Super Blood Moon to be seen over Jerusalem)

9/28/2015 ( Speaking at the UN council all on the same day------Vladimir Putin - Russian President / Raul Castro - Cuban President / Xi Jinping- China's President / Hassan Rouhani- Iranian President / Barack Obama - U.S. President)

9/28/2015 (? The new startup of the LHC / will not release official date, but we know they like to run during Lunar eclipse so this date makes since. Cern actually did start up on the 15 with the new moon reports are as soon as the LHC hit it's top speed for the day of 9/16 is the exact same time a 8.3 earthquake struck off the cost of Chile)

We have seen things happen this year that have never happened before such as the first ever Solar&Lunar to take place at the same time. Only observed by NASA. This also occurred on Sept. 13 which was the Jewish New Year( most celebrated this as New Year even though the moon was not visible, true to the book scholars now do not observe the New year until the 15th due to that being the first night the moon was visible.)
Also the Star of Bethlehem appeared for the first time in over 2,000 years many believing it has not appeared since the birth of Christ.

Luke 21:25
  And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring

^{Luke 21:36}  

Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man.

Wake Up to Truth

It's time you wake up to the truth. That you are a powerful creator, created by God & from God. You have the ability to speak & think things into existence. Be cautious of the Words, Thoughts, Feelings, & Actions you engage. You are a very powerful creator, that is always creating something. You create your own perception. This is your reality.
"Life and Death is in the power of the tongue"-Proverbs 18:21
"As a man thinks in his heart, so is he"-Proverbs 23:7

Spiritual Development

In the course of our life, most of us have recognized–through experience and at the cost of a lot of suffering–that the freedom of saying no is a mere virtual freedom that is only good for reinforcing our Ego. As separate Egos we often tend to forget the basic fact of life that existence is dialectic. That is, no joy may exist without sorrow, and no happiness may exist without suffering.

This forgetfulness is, naturally, understandable, since we all strive to be happy, to enjoy life, so we bravely say yes to these, but our answer to suffering and unpleasant experiences is generally no. This behavior appears to be perfectly natural and human.

But how would we know that we are happy at a specific moment without ever experiencing sorrow in our life? Would we be aware that we are joyful at this moment, when we have never experienced sadness?

Pleasure and grief, happiness and unhappiness are equally parts of the same thing, they constitute the two side of the same thing; that means that if we fail to experience one side, we will not be able to learn about the other. If we reject unhappiness, we will not have the opportunity to experience happiness.

Only when we are able to recognize this basically dual nature of existence, the fact that happiness is rooted in unhappiness, shall our inner freedom enable us to say yes with pleasure to the things that are happening to us.

Once we have achieved the ability to say yes, our internal resistance to the things that happen to us will also cease, and we become conscious and alert to the present moment, and events emerging from that moment. We shall readily accept anything and everything the moment brings to us, let it be joy or sorrow, because we will be fully aware that all these are parts of the same game. That is the only way of remaining quiet, open and ready to accept things, and in this way we shall be presented with peace of mind and the ability to concentrate our attention.

In that state of tranquility, our concentrated attention will show us what we need to do in the specific moment concerned. Our reaction will therefore be an intelligent deed. Only the readiness to accept things, rooted in inner freedom, and surrender to the circumstances may become the foundation of our spiritual development.

Quick Message

The soul is not contained within the limits of the body, the body is contained within the limitlessness of the soul.

Lurking in The Shadows

We've seen the light and the beauty of all the colors in this world 
But it is time to look past the colors and see the black and white
More importantly than that 
It is time for us to notice the gray in the shadows of what is black and white

Your Eyes are Now Open

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out… ENOUGH! Enough fighting, crying, blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

                                                    This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you… and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself… and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself… and in the overlook their shortcomings and human frailties… and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with. You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that ‘alone’ does not mean lonely. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels the soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people… and you lean not to always take it personally. You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You lean that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire. You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

To Make Up...a Second Chance

There I was alone, naked, 25 steps from north side of the wall to the south, 12 steps east to west, a cot, toilet, and sink. There was no soap or toilet paper most of the time, meals at 5 am, 11 am, 4 pm, and lights on for 24 hours. There was no explanation of why I was in here or how long I would be and then she appeared to me again. I slowly started to fade out and the reasons started to appear.

Rewind to two years before, I am sitting in the ER with my son because he has an terrible case of poison ivy all over his body and we are there to get him a shot. Then I awake, in a hospital bed, how did I get here? I think it’s the next day? A friend comes in the room with a shit eating grin saying “what the hell are you doing here man? “ I respond with I don’t know? “well, are you ok?” he asks.  Yea I just do not know how I got here? He tells me that while waiting in the ER I passed out unresponsive and they do not know why. Neither do I? He hands me a Pepsi bottle full of whiskey and says “here I figured you were thirsty”. I tell him thanks and he leaves. I go straight to the bathroom and throw the bottle in the trash, not because I do not like whiskey but I’m in the hospital and still not really sure why?

I awake two more friends in the room, one more of what I would call a random acquaintances. Apparently they have been here for a while and we’ve been talking but I just woke up? I ask them if they do not mind to leave that I am tired and need to rest. They part ways and I fade out.

Again I awake and this time there she is standing against the wall. I know she’s not real and run out into the hall. A bell rings and it’s like the end of a school day at elementary school. There’s little kids everywhere laughing, smiling, skipping, this is not real!! I know I am hallucinating. I run into the room and call my mother and tell her something is wrong very wrong I am seeing things I know are not real do not bring my kids here to see me!! I would later find out this is two days after my friend, and the random acquaintance where there.

For the next 3 months I would have these split seconds where I would awake. One of the first of those I can remember I was standing outside the hospital in the snow, only in a pair of basketball shorts, no shirt or shoes, smoking a cig. I awoke long enough to realize this and then nothing. I came to once over top of my sister in my room, eyes only inches away, and I was standing on the arms of her chair squatting down in her face. Then her eyes open in extreme fear and then I fade away.

The next time I come to a man is washing me and I’m in the ICU. He says “Is that you Joshua?” I try to say yes but I can barely talk. He says “Is that really you?” Again I barely squeak out a yes. “How’s your chest feel” he ask. Now that he mentions it, it is super soar. He says “Look down and you will see a softball size bruise on your chest, that is where we had to hit you with adrenaline to bring you back to life, you went out on us for a second”. He smiles and I look down and fade away.  This time I would find out later that apparently I had been in some kind of mad rage. I was in a straight jacket and fighting all the male nurses and security and I must have been winning because they had to tranquilize me but they overdosed me and had to jump start my heart with adrenaline.

Everything is blurry something is in my throat I cannot speak and can barely see but there is my mother and I am trying to ask her what has happened and why? I remember her having me write down the questions because she could not understand me. The only thing I remember her saying is “I don’t know” and I fade away.

I come to in a dreamlike state of mind. I am in a hospital room and there is someone laying there in a bed on life support. I try to focus in, oh shit that’s me. As soon as I realize that I was looking at myself all of a sudden an unexplanable light overwhelms everything, I hear “not ready” and instantly eyes open a doctor has a shocked look on his face, I feel my body gasp for air as the tube comes out of my throat, I see my mother and sister crying and fade away. I had died and came back when they were taking me off support.

I awake this time in a new room, I am no longer in ICU and I feel nasty. I go into the bathroom to shower and when I come out I am going to get coffee, how I know this is ok for me to do? I do not know? I start to step out of my room and I hear the nurses across the hall. “That poor boy took another shower at 4:30 in the morning”. “I know it is so sad he is so young, I don’t think he is going to come out of it”. Wait, they are talking about me. How many mornings have I showered at 4:30? This was the day I slowly started coming back but walking down the halls and seeing nurse’s jump or walk to the other side of the hall in fear of me. What had I done? What had happened to me? The doctors never really did explain or know what happened to me during this time, some say they overdosed me in steroids, some say I was on drugs, some think I was possessed. Personally I do not know, I know it was not drugs. I know whatever it was it cost me almost 2 years of my life. It would take me well over two years to get over because look where I am at. I’m in solitaire confinement and I am not sure why? Am I crazy?

Back to my cell and there she is again, the same little girl I seen all those months back ago in my hospital room. I had been told I talked to her everyday but I could not remember any conversations other than her giving me a comfort feeling. She looks up and says “You know why you’re here. You think you’re crazy, but I have told you over and over you are not. Now you can step up and realize this or this is how you can live the rest of your life here. You have seen things many others have not, murder, suicide, rape, theft, torture, adultery, you’ve been put down and judged by your peers for things they know nothing about. They do not know the truth. Most could not walk in your shoes and lived through what you have and still seek answers or the truth. Your mind was on over load your brain was ready to shut down but your heart and soul were not. Is this you? Is this who you want to be?” And then she was gone.

I had been in that room well over a week, I had lost track of time and then two days later I was released and took straight to the hospital just in time to have one last conversation with my mother. Honestly it wasn’t much she asked if I was ok, told me to go see my girls and that was pretty much it. She was gone. There were many things during these times that happened between my mother and I that I cannot explain or understand why she did certain things to me. I realize I did not know her on a personal level, I know I have broken some of the commandments, and never been a religious man or even a believer at this time but during all my issues and time with my mother I have never cussed at her, I never crossed the line of disrespect in no way to her. There is something to that now that I have started to find my way and see things clear always remember you do not choose your parents and you cannot replace them either. The subject of honoring our parents is one of great importance. It is in both the Old and New Testament scripture. It is one of the highest callings and greatest task we face in life. Now I am not saying I always did what my mother asked me to but I never disrespected her and maybe, just maybe that’s why I have been giving another chance at life.

                                             R.I.P. Mom I love you and miss you everyday

Inside

You have to remember the hard days are what make you stronger. The bad days make you realize what a good day is. You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

4 Walls

There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect.The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.So remember when your building your wall to also build a door.So not only you can escape but you can let loved ones in.There is nothing wrong with going behind your wall sometimes because we cannot learn to be truly happy until we can learn to be happy alone.I think about the many walls that I have built and tore down, and some I have built again. I have learned to be happy and what is important and I have learned family is the most important thing in life. I look at it this way. One of these days I'll be over in a hospital somewhere with four walls around me. And the only people who'll be with me behind those walls will be my family. - Joshua

Trying to Help the Light Shine

Prepare for war brothers and sisters, your nation has been handed into the hands of your enemy, this will affect the multitudes and no one can escape. I warn to prepare now by faith, I warn to prepare now in Jesus your only shelter from the storm, great darkness shall cover the land. Many will be in fear and without hope, lead them to Jesus lead them to their only hope. He is the way, the truth, the life. He has prepared us for this day a place in our Father’s house, have you prepared in him? He is coming quickly to recompense to the earth, this is the time of the harvest, the time of the separation, the wheat and the chaff. Many robes will be made white and ready, prepare your hearts in the Lord, a time of great sorrows is upon you. Jesus is your only place of refuge within the earth.

“Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay each one for what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.” Blessed are those who wash their robes, so that they may have the right to the tree of life and that they may enter the city by the gates. 
Revelation 22:12-14

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.” John 14:1-7

"I do not send the equipped I equip the ones I call. I do not judge man’s ways of judging, for I judge the heart and no man knows the heart, for I see all and know all. I know the things done in hidden places, sin and sacrifice. I do not call on the requirements of skills and strength but I search the hearts of all people. A humble surrendered heart is all I need to do the impossible, to do more than man’s idea of strength and wisdom. I take what is nothing to the world and I shall shame the kings and kingdoms, for my army is within me, they do not stand in flesh and blood but in my power. These are my over comes they laid down their lives for me, I am their power, I am their strength and all their wisdom. No man can stand against my army for they and I are one. I have equipped them in my power and they will go forth in my name, the demons shall flee before them and they shall trample his plans at their feet. 
This is my army, they are my chosen ones, their hearts are pure before me and no lie is found in them, they walk in my truth and their words shall burn all that is not in me. I shall give them my power to judge the nations, to declare my truth and reveal the lies, they shall be hated mocked and scorned, but no man, demon, or power can touch them until their time is finished, for all things will be made new. This earth shall pass away but those in me shall live forever with me, I will reign in victory and all will be made new."

For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” 
1 Corinthians 1:25-31

Let me Help you Awake

                                                      "Awake
                                           Shake dreams from your hair
                                          My pretty child, my sweet one.
                             Choose the day and choose the sign of your day
                                                  The day's divinity
                                        First thing you see."-The Doors 

We all have a lense through which we see the world. As humans the lense we use to interpret and apply ourselves in reality is made up of beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and some might even say, your soul’s essence and the presence of Spirit.

While sometimes it’s hard to see beyond our current range of focus, when we do, often we can gain a glimpse, an understanding and deep sense of self that lands within us. Once it does, it never leaves. It changes it shapes us into who we are. It transforms us from the core, from the inside out.

Understand there is only one God in the Universe, who can be found through his son Jesus Christ but it is also a concept now being proven by quantum physics. We live in a unified field of energy which interconnects everything.

This means that literally the entire Universe, every particle, is conscious. And it’s exponentially evolving. If our entire world embraced this perspective truth, we’d be working for the benefit of each other as Global organism.

If you truly live from a place of Oneness, you will forever be on the path of positive evolution and heartful living.

You are the only person on this planet. Your entire reality is a reflection of you. Every person, every living thing and the entire planet is a direct reflection of you. Interestingly enough, if you change and evolve yourself, reality itself will change. Meaning you can be who you truly want to be. Hmm, I know we have all heard that before. Fractals are ever increasing spirals of uniqueness, that’s what we are, and the entire thing, is One.

Try this perspective on for size, and experience your World change….When you are out today make eye contact with everyone, try smiling and see how many respond back with a smile. Positive energy gives of positive vibes, as does negative energy gives off negative vibes. Its simple mathematics positive + positive = positive. Just like a negative + negative = negative.

Go out and follow your bliss, live for the experience. This doesn’t mean go have fun. I’m saying do and be the things that truly excite you. And by excite you meaning grow you, challenge you, push you in new directions, expand your consciousness and develop you into something great.

To be excited, means to be nervous, joyous and elated. It means to live fully and offering life your energy in this way, as it’s making the effort to provide for you.

Let your conscious awake, look within at ourselves and the realities we can create and immerse ourselves in Faith, understanding. Let God into your heart and let him take control, which means if God is in you than you are in control of your presence at this moment. Break through your resistance, and let your light shine through your walls.