A time comes in your
life when you finally get it. When, in the midst of all your fears and
insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head
cries out… ENOUGH! Enough fighting, crying, blaming and struggling to hold on.
Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and
begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it’s time to
stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and
security to magically appear over the next horizon.You realize that in the real
world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily
ever after” must begin with you… and in the process a sense of serenity is born
of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not
everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and
that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. You learn the
importance of loving and championing yourself… and in the process a sense of
new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming
other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you
learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn
that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not
everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you. So,
you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself… and in the overlook
their shortcomings and human frailties… and in the process a sense of peace and
contentment is born of forgiveness. You learn to open up to new worlds and
different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and
what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing
and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should
never have bought into to begin with. You learn that there is power and glory
in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a
“consumer” looking for you next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty
and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that
holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don’t
know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a
pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry
and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. You learn
to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.
You learn that ‘alone’ does not mean lonely. You stop trying to control people,
situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and
responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things
over and ignoring your needs. You learn that your body really is your temple.
You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced
diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being
tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels the soul. So you take more
time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life
what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You
learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for
something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More
importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction,
discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and
that it’s OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly
fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because
you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to
give away the right to live life on your own terms. You learn to fight for your
life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn
that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve
and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people… and you lean
not to always take it personally. You learn that nobody’s punishing you and
everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn
to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You lean
that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood
and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the
universe that surrounds you.
You learn to be thankful
and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things
that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full
refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Then,
you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself
a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you
heart’s desire. You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to
stay open to every wonderful possibility.
You hang a wind chime
outside your window so you can listen to the wind. Finally, with courage in your
heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the
life you want to live as best as you can.
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